It’s true and happened this week. A customer browsing cards apologised for farting to one of our team members who was also in the card department, putting out new stock. While there have been many suspicious odors in the newsagency over the years, no one has owned up. How decent, any funny, is that! The customer was not embarrassed. Card sales slowed for a while.
Every newsagent has their stories of weird experiences with customers. Here are a couple of other true stories from our fifteen years (next month) at Forest Hill Chase – but only read if you are prepared to be shocked.
- About fourteen years ago a mother (in her 70s) and daughter came in an asked if we have magazines showing naked guys. The story was that the mum has been widowed for twenty or so years and wanted a reminder of what it looked like. We were able to satisfy the curiosity. Unfortunately, they were only browsing and not buying.
- Not long after the mum incident, we had to stop a teenage boy (we think around fourteen) from accessing too much personal enjoyment from one of our soft core porn titles in the far corner of the shop on a busy Saturday morning. He, too, left without making a purchase.
Yes, we have had our usual run of kids going to the toilet – 1s, 2s and both – and parents walking away and other stories but it is these three stories which will stick in our minds.
We have had a few weird ones but the worst would be when a very pretty new lady in town was browsing the cards. I noticed one of our not so desirable customers who usually just bought a coke at the front of the shop. He then headed down towards the card dept. right up behind the pretty lady. I heard her shout at him and rushed to intervene. When I,a 50 something lady stepped in between them the glassy look soom disapeared as I bounced him out of the shop. He was arrested shortly after.
Forgot to say that living in the tropics we have some customers with very very bad body oder particularly during the wet season so we always have a can of airfreshener at the counter. Farting… I hope no one ever follows me around!!!
Our card sales have been on the nose lately, but not like that!!!
A couple of years back we had a couple getting rather amarous with aech other at the rear of the shop. One of my staff members alerted me to this and over the security cameras I saw them having quite a pash.
I approached them and asked if they needed assistance with anything. They said no in a smart arse way so I said “it looks to me like you need a motel, not a newsagency”
They said I was being offesive and complained to my wife on the way out (amazingly they did make a purchase on the way out).
On looking at the complete footage to explain my conduct to the missus, it was worse than I had seen and shocked my wife as well.
We certainly didn’t want any of our customers stumbling on them while they were entwined.
We have a very elderely lady customer who in winter wears fur coats. One day she dropped an absolute prize winner (silently). The fur coat gave the offensive odour a slow release but what made it even worse was that she then hung around asking after the family and having a good old chat as she loves to do.
It took a good 15 minutes for that odour to clear the shop and for order to be restored.
We often wonder if she was completely aware of what she was doing and if she left the shop having a good old laugh.
I hate it when I fart and there are no avenues of blame available.
Hope he didn’t follow through… could be a problem with ‘stool’ management.
Weve had a young couple roll around on the floor whistle pashing.
We’ve also had a customer try to steal chilled meat by sticking it down their pants (compensating much?).
We had one not-so-mentally-with-it customer who whipped it out on the front counter whilst being served!
One lady decided that in protest of her being banned she would flash the entire carpark on her way out. Nothing says I’m innocent like exposing your boobs to a carpark full of strangers!
But some of the funniest footage commmes from our external camera during the night …
Not so long after we had it installed we discovered two guys who decided to use the front of the shopping centre for their own provocative photo shoot in the middle of the night. Only shirts came off this time.
And around 12 months ago we discovered a young guy, who was clearly high, walking around with his manhood swinging in the breeze.
I want to know how one whistles and pashes at the same time 😀
Lol. Whistle-pashing is all the craze Y&G … Stupid apple auto correction!